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by vox nihili

  • Poetry
  • Narrative

Published November 24, 2011

In works

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Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
bagelbaby
Review
bagelbaby wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2011

I really liked this one.. To me, it was ALMOST remorseful? If that's the word I'm looking for. I don't know, but I liked it. The structure really stood out and made the flowiness a lot stronger. This part really stuck with me though, and it was my FAVORITE part..

Or quietly crying children behind thin walls, too frightened to look away from behind their hands.

The ones who never speak up, who hide behind long-sleeves in summer,

and have three lies for every bruise if anyone darts a furtive glance

The ones a little too pale, a little too thin, a little too quiet and a little too quick to answer

In their soft, broken voices, eyes always on the floor.



That was brilliant. Many people couldn't put that into words, but you did it fantasticly well. Good work! Keep it up. :)

-Bagel Baby.

User avatar
NightWalker
Review
NightWalker wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2011

I like the way you Express the theme in your poem!It working as a great poem for me.The way you wrote this poem are so beautiful and wonderful.
"What could be done? What should be done?

None of these answers come with ease.

But with each sunrise, their pain grows.

What could we do? What should we do?

Maybe, just maybe it's time to listen."

*This is the good one.I really like it.It trully touched my heart.So good job from you.Keep writing,Okay!
^^NiGhT.WaLkEr^^



You can't blame the writer for what the characters say.
— Truman Capote